Squeaking by...and The Continuous Conversion by Brad Wilcox

Sunday morning I pulled out my beautiful violin. Every time I open my case I am brought back to Christmas Day. I had no idea what was in that big box, and when I opened it, I wept with joy. I have always dreamed of learning to play the violin. And Scott knew it.

My Violin has now been in my possession for almost 3 months.

I tightened my bow, applied fresh rosin to it, and put my chin rest on my violin. I stared down the fingerboard making sure that I was going to hit an open A and then I started down with my bow stroke. It rang out beautifully until I willfully placed my first finger down, shooting for a B and missing terribly.

SQUEAK!

I quickly corrected my finger placing searching for the correct intonation. On and on I repeated these steps, hitting the note in one instant and then missing the mark in the next.

I practiced Twinkle Twinkle, I Am Like A Star Shining Brightly, and London Bridges. I played for about 15 minutes until I felt that Scott, who was trying to sleep about 5 feet away from where I was practicing, would ultimately get frustrated with my efforts and tell me to be quiet.

"So babe, what did you think of that?", I asked sarcastically, partially expecting abuse and  annoyance for interrupting his precious sleep.

"Erin, I could listen to you play all day", he said in a beautiful, sincere and genuine response.

I've been thinking of this continually this week. How could Scott, a seasoned Master of the violin, appreciated my small offering of a few pure notes and a thousand missed ones?

In the book The Continuous Conversion by BradWilcox he says,

Am I willing to gradually be perfected, or am I impatiently just wanting to be instantly made perfect?
To instantly play perfectly?
To just pick up my violin and play like the Master?

In the book, Wilcox uses an analogy that I loved.

"Many people, as they feel themselves falling short of perfection, are tempted to quit trying. But are there only two options?"

He continues, "When a person is learning to play the piano, are the only two options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting?

NO!" he writes, "Growth and Development take time. Learning takes practice. Discipleship is a journey, and true conversion is a CONTINUOUS PROCESS."

So why is it that Scott, who plays the violin Perfectly; the perfect tone, the perfect vibrato...could appreciate and enjoy my squeaks?

Could it possibly be because he has been there?
Could it be because through years and years of practicing he has already paid the price?

Don't you think that one who has paid the price and put in the effort could enjoy the missed notes of a novice more than someone who never played the violin could appreciate the squeaky notes of an imperfect player.

And doesn't the Savior, our Master, appreciate our true, most sincere efforts to continually practice for perfection?
To strive to "learn heaven" and not "earn it."

Perfection takes time. It takes a Continuous Conversion.

And guess what?

The savior appreciates our continued efforts because:
He has been there.
He has already paid the Price.

And just like Scott said that he could listen to me play the violin all day, the Savior invites us too to make our best offering.

And through the atonement of Jesus Christ our tune can be perfected, our efforts magnified and we may all hear those precious words, "Well done thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things , I will make thee ruler over many things, enter thou into the joy of the Lord." (Matt 25: 21)

This book was wonderful and I strongly recommend it.
To purchase go to Deseret Bookstore

30 Day and 90 Day Book Of Mormon Reading Schedules

The Book Of Mormon Forum Challenge is going on today over at BeingLDS:

Ever since I first challenged myself to read The Book Of Mormon in 30 Days I have had a deeper love for the scriptures and a stronger desire to love, serve and keep the commandments. When I Finished my 30 Day challenge I had a complete change of heart. I felt a deeper resolve to live the gospel than I had ever had before. I have had many people download my 30 Day Reading Schedule and I love it when they let me know that they have accepted the challenge. I have decided to include a 90 Day Reading Schedule here as well, so that everybody can find a reading plan that fits their schedule. 

Last night I had an experience with Kate. She had acted out in a behavior that really upset me. My first thought was that we needed to punish her. Really punish her. I even told Scott to go and give her a big spank. Luckily, Scott was more in line with Gospel teachings and insisted we wait and think about it. I was very disappointed in her, so much so that I was crying and really, really sad. I thought about how Enos father must have felt when he didn't think that Enos was grasping the principles of the gospel or trying to keep the commandments. I thought about how Alma must have felt when his son was running around trying to destroy the church and lead people astray. Both of these fathers must have mourned their son's mistakes and prayed mightily for them to feel the Saviors love, to make good choices, and to begin keeping the commandments.

As Scott and I knelt beside Kate's bed we looked into her 7 year old eyes. Suddenly I was much less concerned with her actual behavior, and much more concerned with helping her know and feel her Heavenly Father's love. Reminding her that she is a Daughter of God and that she has more value and worth than she will ever know. I went from almost ruining this sweet experience by spanking her in a moment of anger and rage, to feeling a love for her deeper than I have ever felt before. I sat and held her as she cried because of the sorrow she felt for the wrong she had done. And when I turned out the lights and tucked her into bed she told me she loved me and just how sorry she was. 

And I know that she is wonderful. 

What if I had missed out on that?

I am so grateful for The Book Of Mormon in my life. I'm grateful for prophets that feel like mentors and friends, for scriptures that sink deep into my soul, and for a husband that was able to help me stop for a moment and just think.

Here are two different reading schedules. I really hope you will let me know if you decide to use them. I love hearing about other peoples experiences with finishing The Book Of Mormon, whether it is for the first time or the 100th.

Just read it.

You can click on the picture, save it and print it or download a the jpeg {Here} 30 Day Reading Schedule

You can click on the picture, save it and print it or download the jpeg {Here} 90 Day Reading Schedule

The 30 day chart is available in a different color >>>> HERE.

And if you have a Book Of Mormon Experience that you would like to share...LINK UP!!! Jocelyn is having another great link-up Party over at BeingLDS. She has invited everyone to participate in her Book Of Mormon Forum.

Birthday Weekend Surprise Party

As if having my entire family surprise me on my porch for my birthday wasn't enough, 24 hrs later I came home to a house full of my neighbors and friends. 

SURPRISE! 

I walked into the house with my pants rolled up, my toenails still wet and no idea that my house was full of people. 

For the past month Scott had been conspiring with my friends Haley and Shawri to throw a party for me. The food was amazing, the turn-out was great and we had a blast. Thank you so much H & S for all the hard  work. And I look forward to embarrassing you for your own surprise parties. Payback is coming.

We played Minute 2 Win It and we had so much fun. The Boys were against the girls and this led to couples competing against each other. The girls dominated. No surprise there.

Here are my parents stacking dice. My mom won. What?

Shawri and Melanie getting a little close!

Matt and Matt...they won. This cracked me up.

Ashlee won both of her competitions helping the girls to victory.

Kate was so into it. She wanted to play every single game.

Haley trying to get an Oreo from her forehead to her mouth. She killed Tyler and I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard.

Scott and his new 4-wheeler prize.

Grandparents and Grand babies. Nothing better.

My 2 younger brothers. Dustin & John.

Papa and Sawyer.

And if you made it this far, here is a little treat for you.

Scott and I playing the ping pong ball in tissue box game. Scott killed me and after looking at his

moves it is no surprise why.

Enjoy.

And Scott, this is your payback for hitting me two nights in a row with mind-blowing surprises.

Nice Buns.

xoxo

Older, Blessed and Speechless at 37

Friday night there was a knock on the door. It was 10:30 pm and Scott was grinning at me from ear to ear. As I made my way to the door, I looked back at Scott and thought to myself, "that man is adorable." Little did I know what miracle was waiting for me on the other side of the door. Opening the door I was met with 7 pairs of familiar eyes. 

It was my family! 

My parents, my Brothers, my nieces and my Sister-in-law Jenna. 

In order for you to understand the magnitude of this miraculous event, you should know that my brother John lives in Washington, D.C. and flew out here with his two daughters (we missed you Anne, thanks for letting them come!) my brother Dustin is in Residency right now working around the clock shifts, my sister-in-law Jenna is a Full-Time student at BYU and my parents are Busy, Busy people. So the fact that they were all standing on my porch at the same time was incredible. Tears filled my eyes as I looked from face to face. Even now, days later it seems somehow like a dream. Scott worked for two months to pull off this ultimate birthday surprise and I am still speechless. The unfolding of events all for little old me is so humbling. I feel so grateful to have a husband who knows the deepest wishes of my heart and helped my wishes come true. This gift was the purest and most rare kind. This gift was Eternal.

And having Happy Birthday sung to me by my family on my porch at 10:30 pm can never be topped. It was the ultimate!!!

I mean, look at these faces.

Scott, you are simply better than the best. You are Everything. 

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Times that by forever.