January 3, 2016

7 Gratefuls

My 3rd C-section in 2009, baby Sawyer.

1. I'm grateful for my BODY. Right now it is swollen, puffy and I can barely move. But it is carrying a miracle baby and I am so grateful for every discomfort because it is a reminder of how lucky I am. My uterus is pretty much amazing. As I prepare to undergo my 5th C-section, I am amazed at what my body has been through and how strong it is. Just 4 years ago my uterus had grown inside my bladder and the two were working as one organ. And now, thanks to an incredible surgeon and the Lord's tender mercies, I have almost carried this little girl full term. I'm so proud of my Body.  I cry just thinking about it.

2. I'm grateful for Doctor's, Surgeon's, and nurses that have made it possible for me to have children. Although C-sections are incredibly HORRIBLE, (like the worst) it was my only option as a mother and I'm blessed that I have had skilled people that have helped me and blessed me on my way.

3. I'm grateful for Scott. Having been on bed rest about 75% of the time the past 3 months he has had to not only do more than he normally does, but he has held this family together. He has served me in more ways than I could possibly count and I am amazed that I am lucky enough to have him as my partner for Eternity. He has done everything he can think of to make this time easier on me, and I feel like I will be trying to make it up to him for the rest of forever. I love you Scotty. Thank you.

4. I'm grateful for family. It is pretty humbling knowing that your loved ones are praying for you, fasting for you and willing to do anything for you. It is the most amazing feeling knowing just what kind of people I have in my corner. The best of the very best.

5. I'm grateful for my children. I'm grateful for kids that desperately want another sibling. Kids that can't wait to add to our family. This sweet little girl is going to be so loved. Sawyer can't wait to touch her skin. Wyatt can't wait to teach her his ninja ways. Kate can't wait to dress her up show her off. Dylan can't wait to just hold her. I still can't believe that we have been blessed in such a miraculous way. We hoped for another baby. We prayed for another baby. But every time I feel her move I am still in complete amazement that she is in my belly. I think that she will always feel like the ultimate gift.

6. I'm grateful for friends. It would be impossible to list all the ways that I have been served. Meals, laundry, cleaning, play dates, gifts, foot rubs, pedicures, drinks, visits, and more. I have an army of people that have sacrificed their time to bless me and my family and I love them so very much. Thank you!!!

7. I'm grateful for Jesus Christ. For the first three months of this pregnancy I floated in a cloud of fear. I couldn't find my way out. I was terrified that something bad was going to happen, that Scott would be left a widower, or that the baby wouldn't make it. I was frozen in fear and I couldn't find my faith. Then one day I decided that I was tired of carrying that burden. As I knelt in prayer, I fervently whispered my most sincere, "Thy will be done". And I really meant it. I was able to say to the Lord, "I trust you with all my heart."  When I finally was able to speak those words, a heavy burden of doubt was almost immediately lifted off of my shoulders and a sweet peace fell over me. It was the most beautiful thing. He made me no promises. I still didn't know the outcome, but I knew in whom I trusted. And I knew his plan was better than my plan. It was a big lesson for me. One that I feel will likely be the substance that my faith is made of from here on out.


Michelle Bowen said...

Oh, my dear friend! You are beautiful in words, spirit, faith, and even in real life! Thank you for the way you teach me and for helping me want to be better. Love you all.

Amy Larson said...

Hello total stranger-- Just wanted you to know that I used your scripture journal page picture as a group picture I created. I gave you credit (your blog name) and will remove it as soon as I can get another picture to replace it--but it is such a beautiful journal! If you want me to remove it please email me at chaplin222@hotmail I will do it right away. Thank you!