Love Means...

Tonight I read an interesting article entitled Why I can't stop reading Mormon housewife blogs.

It was one of those articles that made me stop and think. The writer explains that she has a secret addiction to the Happy, Perfect lives that are portrayed by Mormon bloggers.

I have often NOT blogged on days when I don't feel well, I'm grumpy, or I don't feel like my life is Perfect and Happy.

It isn't that I want everyone to think that my LIFE is perfect. It is just that I'm not comfortable with everyone knowing just how NOT perfect I AM.

I thought I'd share just a little example of my stupidity. Here is a letter I wrote to Scott one time after I lost my temper with him. So in case you thought I might be perfect (hee hee ha ha) here is proof to the contrary.

~~~~~~~

Written June 23, 2010


Mr. P,

Last night we quarreled. It was one of those non-verbal quarrels. Tempers ragged...I was right, you were wrong...or so I thought.

I asked you for help washing Dylan's hair. I was busy washing Kate and Sawyer's hair. You ignored me. You were on the computer.

I was surprised. You never ignore me. You almost always do what I ask.
So I asked again. This time, a little more impatient.

"Please", I said, "wash Dylan's hair for me".
Again, nothing.

At the time I wasn't thinking that maybe you were tired. That you had played with me and the kids in the morning, worked all day, and then mowed the lawn, went on the walk with me that I begged you for, and then laid with me on the grass.

I wasn't thinking about all of that, you know. I wasn't thinking about how you ALWAYS do what I ask, so much so, that when you don't I get upset. You see, you are so reliable, I've just sort of gotten use to it.

So I got mad. And I told you so.

You came to the rescue, you washed Dylan's hair. But not because you wanted to. It was because I had a tantrum and fell apart.

Someone once said, "Love means never having to say you are sorry."

Oh, my love, I disagree.

I think love means being willing to say you are sorry. Filling the void of worry, woe, pride, silence, and distance...with words, like.

I love you.


It was my fault.


I was careless.


I was selfish.


I should have put your feelings first.


You are all that matters to me.


Please forgive me.


You see, I think love is saying you are sorry.

And I am...

Sorry.