Yesterday I sat down with Dylan to help him learn to tie his shoes. Yes, he is almost 8 and still hadn't quite captured the skill. At first I was very calm and reassuring, and with in a matter of minutes I found myself getting so frustrated with him. I was saying things like:
- Dylan it is so easy
- Are you even paying attention
- Look, right here. RIGHT HERE!!!
- OH, come on.
I'm pretty sure it was a very unpleasant experience for him. I made him do it over and over and over again.
It took him about 15 minutes and then he got it. Afterward, I found myself asking him, "Dylan, your mom has no patience. Am I mean?" He was so excited that he could tie his own shoes that he just kept saying, "Mom, I can tie my shoes, you aren't mean."
I find myself losing my temper a lot. I feel like I could not love and adore my kids more than I do, but I still have such a hard time with not raising my voice and using a kind tone. I tend to boil over really silly and unimportant things.
I grew up with a Dad that never, ever in my whole life, EVER lost his temper with me. EVER. Did I mention EVER, EVER, EVER? I know. It is pretty rare. He is a very amazing man. A very patient man. And he was raised by a father that NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER lost his temper with him.
I was so blessed to be raised by such a kind, loving, patient man.
So, I'm pretty sure that I need to figure this temper thing out. And quick. Being a Mother is a sure test of patience. If I can't learn it now, I never will.
I think that when I am really thinking about it, and really making an effort, it is so much easier to stay calm and rational. My kids are so wonderful. They are smart, healthy, kind, tender and sensitive. I love them so much. They are helpful, and capable and I expect a lot out of them.
I've been thinking a lot today about what I can do to not get to the point of losing control and acting like a kid myself.
Do you have any suggestions? I would love for you to share some of the things that work for you. This is me, humbly asking for your help.
What helps you to be patient with your kids?
What works in your home to help keep harmony?
Do you ever feel like you are mean?
Do you ever lose your temper?
Did you have a parent that never lost their temper, Ever, Never, Ever?
And here are a few pictures of the kids before our church party.
And one picture of a tired boy after.