Post-Op Thoughts...Lot's and Lot's

• Waking up from surgery and seeing Scott and my parents huddled in the corner with tears in their eyes was a moment in time I will never forget. Oh the blessed state of being alive!!!
• It is such a relief to have the surgery behind me. I will be very grateful to never have to stay in the hospital again. Ever. Never. Ever.
• It is funny realizing that the surgery has been way less painful than I thought it would be.
• I am also realizing that it is going to be a much longer recovery than I anticipated. When they said I wouldn't be lifting anything for 6 weeks they weren't kidding. I have two babies people. How am I going to make it?

• I tried so hard to read, sleep, watch movies, and blog, but I was a  total zombie. I couldn't do anything. My mind was a wasteland. The whole thing so far is one big blur.
• I was so grateful for visitors while I was in the hospital. I wish I would have had more visits. I can't believe how much it helped having people stop by.
• The surgery ended up taking 5 hours and I feel so bad for Scott who had to wait and wait and wait with no word from the Doctors.
• Dr. Cahoon explained the entire surgery to me in great detail after I woke up from the Anesthesia and I have no recollection of this whatsoever.
• Getting poked by nurses who can't find your veins is really annoying. And painful.

• This Bair Paws Machine is AMAZING and I wish I had one at home. It blows warm air out of a hose and I put it under my blankets and it kept me super comfortable and warm. Where was this machine when I had spinal meningitis?
• This was my first hospital visit ever where all the buttons on my bed worked. The TV remote worked, the lights worked, and even the rolling table worked with no problems. Luxury I tell you.
• If I had to say one bad thing about my stay it would be the food. They didn't have a menu. I really like when I get to plan what I eat instead of mystery meals just being brought in.

• This picture is Ashley. She is like a sister to me and she works at the hospital. After her shift she came in and helped me change, walk around my room for the first time. She was a great blessing to me and I love her so much. She was made to be a nurse. 

• Can you tell how stoned I am in this picture. My eyes were barely able to stay open, I couldn't focus on anything and I felt like I was flying. Those are strong drugs my friends. Strong.
• I had two catheters after the surgery and one drainage tube. I still have one catheter and it comes out of my stomach and it is really freaky. I have to carry it around with me and Sawyer calls it my "ewe, yukky poop bag". This makes me feel really loved. There is nothing worse than carrying around your own pee bag. EXCEPT for carrying around your own pee bag that isn't working. (Like last time. That was super painful.)

• Come one. Tell me how bad you wish you could carry around your own urine? When was the last time you told your bladder how much your loved it? Bladders are awesome. Bags of pee are not.
• My biggest worry was being able to go #2. I have had success. Nough' Said.

• I love Michael Buble. Love him. Not as much as my friend Laurel loves him, but he is most excellent. I rocked to his Christmas tunes while I was in the hospital. It helped.

• I have a beautiful 7 inch long incision that starts at by belly button and goes down, down, down. It is lovely. NOT.

• And seroiusly, NOTHING has made me feel better than having my sister JENNA put on these eyelash extensions. I love them. They make me feel feminine and girly, and a little bit less like an ugly jigsaw puzzle. BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER JENNA. I LOVE YOU.

• The only complication that I have had is an allergic reaction to the glue and tape they used on my incision. It is completely scabbed over with blisters and such. It hurts and itches and looks terrible. 
• I've been taking Benedryl for the allergies and I have slept for the past three days straight. I have slept all day and all night. LITERALLY. 
• My Mother-in-law Shawna has taken over the care of everything at my house. EVERYTHING. Remember I told you that I have been sleeping for 3 days straight. She is remarkable.
• My friends and neighbors have taken care of all the food and meals so far. They are the best people in the world and I can't believe that I lucked out getting to live next to them.

Well, I am making it through this. It hasn't been easy. I will be happy when the catheter is taken out on Tuesday. For now I have given up all Christmas goals and ideas and projects. They just aren't going to happen. It is okay. I feel closer to my Savior than ever before. More aware of his mighty power and love for his children. More aware of his love for me, and his willingness to bear my afflictions.

I am so blessed. I am so humbled. I am so grateful.

I am alive. I am ticking.

And pretty soon I will be back to normal. And I will have to try a lot harder to remember where I have been, and what I have been through. But I am determined to remember these lessons, these little nuggets of wisdom, the gratitude for life that I have been given.

I am most likely not making sense, I am on drugs, remember?

But I am so blessed.

Remember that.

Love to  you all!!!!

PS. I've missed you. How are you all doing?