It was barely even past noon and I found myself lying face-down on the gigantic pile of laundry topping my bed.
"What is going on here", I thought to myself, as the tears started rolling down my cheeks.
It isn't often that I let my list of "to-do"s combined with my two and four-year old bring me to my knees, but today I was at a loss.
And then I felt it.
That shift in my brain that takes me from "I can handle this", to "why me" in about 5 seconds.
I knew in that split second that I could either arise and face the day or I could give in.
And then it happened.
A huge dark, gloomy fog overcame me and I was suffocating in self pity and drowning in depression.
I laid there feeling the tears run down my cheeks and absorbing into the mountain of towels waiting to be folded.
I lost this one. I chose to lose this one.
So I started to do what any humble, depressed, self-loathing woman with a mile long list of things to get done and two crazy toddlers keeping her from doing them, would do...I prayed.
I can't say that that I remember uttering anything coherent, but I do remember asking for help to get up.
I need to get up.
And then the doorbell rang. I knew it was the UPS man because he has a signature knocking style.
Ring doorbell...followed by two quick knocks and trailing footsteps as he walks away from the door.
I don't care what it is that comes in the mail, it could be a box of checks for all I care, it is just stinking fun to open boxes.
So I started reflecting on what I had ordered and what it could be when I opened a box that Hilary Weeks had sent me. Now, how often do you get mail from Hilary Weeks? I'm guessing never. So I was thrilled that she had decided to send me such a nice gift.
And quite frankly I was astonished when I read the box. "HOW WILL POSITIVE THINKING CHANGE YOU?"
Did I really just get an answer to my prayers that easily? Does Heavenly Father ever just make you laugh out load because he is able to orchestrate such an elaborate series of events in order to answer your very sincere prayers?
I wiped the tears off my cheeks and quickly opened the box. A clicker?
Now I have had serious clicker envy every time I've left Costco for the last 12 years. (Don't tell me that looking at a the Costco Greeter's clicker doesn't make you just want to try it.)
I started reading the pamphlet that came with the clicker. It read:
Hmmm, I do believe that there is good in the world.
Ya, I could try that.
And after a day like this one, I KNOW the power of negative thoughts, so the power of positive thoughts has got to matter.
I started clicking. Right then. I started thinking about things that make me happy, that I am grateful for, and that I saw.
Bird on porch. Click.
Box of diapers. Click. Click.
Fresh Honey Crisp Apples. Click.
As I loaded up the boys to head to pick up the other kids from school and head for violin lessons I stopped crying and kept clicking.
Old Barn. Click.
Remembered to wear a bra. Click. Double click.
Warm car. Click.
Bribing kids with fruit snacks. Click.
Before I new it I was up to 207 clicks.
And that was in about a 35 minute period.
The day got better.
And even thought I drove 40 minutes to violin lessons and forgot the violins, I was able to laugh it off and click that clicker.
And thinking back on that day I am amazed at God's timing.
This day happened to be the day that two of my close friends husband's were furloughed from the Government. Because my day had turned around, I was able to be a comfort to them. I wasn't thinking about myself and my problems anymore...and I was able to bless someone else.
And I was able to remember that my problems are only problems if I say they are. I'm trying not to give them the power to deceive me into feeling sorry for myself. Because we all know where that kind of thinking gets us.
And guess what...it's month later and...
I'm still clicking. I don't have the clicker with me every second. I'm not quite a professional yet.
But I use it. And it makes me happy and grateful for all things simple.
I hope reading this has made you curious and even inspired you to.....
I mean why not? Why not keep a tally of all the good and lose sight of all the negative?
If you would like to order a clicker, all you have to do is visit the Billion Clicks website.
You see, this organization is trying to help us put good vibes out into the world. It is their goal to reach a billion clicks. Their website allows you to register and actually record your clicking.
It is way more fun than logging your calories, I promise.
So Let's Click. You. Me. The World.
I think this thing could actually heal PMS one click at a time.