July 19, 2009

What God Hath Joined Together

Yesterday afternoon I picked up Gordon B. Hinkley's book Standing for Something. I started reading the chapter on Marriage. I've been thinking about my husband ever since so I thought I would take the time today to share some feelings.

If you know Scott, you know that he is not the most sympathetic guy on the block. He is not overly tender, or mushy. He doesn't really know how to be sensitive...you get the idea. The first few years we were married was a real adjustment. If you know my parents you know that I was raised by the most tender, overly sensitive people on the planet and I was pampered, yes pampered my entire childhood and all of my adult life up until I married Scott. When I was sick as a child, or even an adult, my Mother would sit at my bedside and care for me. My Father was always soft spoken and there was never any conflict between the two of them that my brothers and I ever witnessed. Fast forward to Scott and I getting married. We dated very little and really barely knew each other. What we did know was that the lord confirmed to us both that we were well suited for each other and that our marriage would please him. We were in love and we were so excited to be Man & Wife.

One month following our Marriage I became pregnant and we were so excited. With pregnancy I also became sick and tired....and tired and sick. I realized very quickly that Scott was not going to coddle me, or pamper me. He didn't think much of the hardships of pregnancy and didn't want to hear any complaining. I was young and dumb and didn't know him well enough to understand why he wasn't bringing me breakfast in bed, rubbing my feet and checking in on me 20 times a day.

I think that it is fair to say that since our early beginnings I have come to know and understand my husband much better than I once did. I've come to understand why he does what he does, why he acts the way he acts, and why is not a disher of sympathy.

What I once thought of as a flaw in my husband, I now see as the single most important reason that we needed each other in marriage. Scott is strong where I am weak.

Scott is a special breed. I feel that there are truly not many like him in the universe of Our Father's children. He is wrought with endless endurance, an insane work ethic, and mighty abilities. He does not complain about labor. And he doesn't hide from it. He gets what needs to be done, done. He doesn't have to be asked, he doesn't need to be told. He is a self-starter and a non-stopper. He is one who's love is shown in his labor. Not in his compliments, or his affirmation. He shows me his love by his actions.

Friday night I mentioned to Scott that I thought a good project for us on Saturday would be for us to clean out the window wells. He didn't reply or say anything about it. But the very next morning while I was pulling myself out of bed, he entered the house and said, "they are all clean. It's done". This is how Scott works. He is constantly doing what needs to be done.

(Demonstrating his mad edging skills)

Scott told me very early in our marriage that he thought some of societies gender roles and definitions were stupid and that many of them gave couples a reason to ignore our true responsibilities. Being responsible to each other. And ever since our early beginning, Scott has fulfilled his duties as a husband & Father...and MORE! My close friends know that he lightens my burdens daily. Scott cleans toilets, scrubs floors, folds laundry, baths kids, cooks dinner, vacuums, dusts, grocery shops, and helps do every household chore. He doesn't do this once in a while. He does this every day. I never have to ask. He comes home from work and throws in a load of laundry, then he picks up the front room and starts on the dishes. He does whatever needs to be done. I will admit that I have severely taken advantage of him many times. I know that whatever I don't get done, he will do. Isn't that amazing? Aren't I lucky. The same goes for the care of our children. Scott can do the work of 30 men. He is the super Mom at our house. If I leave him with the kids for 30 minutes, I will come home to a house with bathed, sleeping children, and newly mopped kitchen floor, and a quiet peaceful feeling that everything is just how it should be. I don't know how he gets so much done in such a short amount of time. Again, I know I'm lucky. (Just as I typed this Scott just walked by me and put a load of a wet clothes in the dryer, told me to stop buying the cheap dryer sheets, and then pinched my boob and started picking up the clutter in family room. How can you not love him?)

(Little snooze yesterday afternoon)

Another think I love about Scott is his vision of his financial future. He taught me how to save money and how to live on less. He is very careful with his money. He truly believes that Money saved is Money earned. If you don't save it, you never earned it. He has taught me that being mindful of our spending offers financial freedoms that adds to our quality of life. Because of his discipline we have been able to also enjoy the benefits of being self-employed.

I so admire Scott for being willing to go without some of the toys or luxury's some of our friends might enjoy, so that we can be prepared for the future. Scott wants to have our house paid off in the next few years, and I believe that he will.

Scott is also one of the most generous people I know. He never hesitates to pay for meals, movies or golf when he is with family of friends. He sacrifices in his spending so he can share with others and I LOVE that about him.

He also is very generous with me. He never and I mean never buys himself anything, but he is always thinking of ways he can make me happy. Scott's presents don't come with bows on them around your birthday or Christmas. Scott's gives gifts at moments least expected.

Yesterday, he told me that he thought we should take his change jar and cash it in and buy me the potted plants that I have been wanting for the front of the house. I didn't ask for them, he just knew that it was something that I have wanted for a long time and for some reason thought it would be a great day.

(Scott's prized change jar)

So we took his change, cashed it in, and purchased beautiful, pots and plants to go in them. Thank you Scott!

(My brand new Planted Pots)

I could keep going on and on forever. He has given me six years of undying service. So what he may lack in sensitivity, he makes up for in a million other ways.

I feel truly blessed to have a partner that truly is a helpmeet in every sense of the word.

I love you Scott!!!

What makes your husband unique that you just love?
What makes your wife unique that you just love?
In what ways is your spouse the perfect one for you?
If you are spouseless, what qualities are important to you that you are looking for?


Brandon and Amber said...

You just had to throw in the part about pinching the boob....

heather said...

I loved that he pinched your boob...that means he really loves you!:)
Okay, loved this post. Chris is perfect for me because he pretty much does stuff that most men wouldn't do. He cooks and cleans and helps with the kids. His mom taught him well. His strengths helps my weaknesses as well.

thebakerbook said...

Oh, Erin. I just loved that. It might have made me cry a little. ;) Isn't it crazy how quickly you can lose sight of what's really important? I am so glad you took the time to really think about all the ways he makes your life better rather than worse. Its so much easier to do the latter sometimes.
He is lucky to have you too. Know that. xoxo Miss you like crazy.

Mrs JP Chaos said...

That was the coolest post to your sweet hubby. It can be so easy to focus on the faults and then you miss out on all the good!

Love this!

Laurel said...

on behalf of those of us looking for our scott (loved the "boob pinch" btw...), thanks for this honest and great post.

i adore you.

Brian and Emily said...

Erin what a nice tribute to Scott! You guys are a great pair and there is nothing greater in this world than a good marriage....well I guess their is one thing....an eternal one, we all have to keep working for that though don't we!!! Love you and miss you!

Josh and Gloriana said...

loved this! so great.

Julia said...

His work ethic must be in the genes cuz i swear Joe is the same way! I'm always telling Jana how lucky she is...I can't get my man to pick up his socks!

really enjoyed your post.