March 16, 2011

The Gift of Life Part One: In the Middle of the Night

Continued From Here

February 14, 2011

It started as a normal Valentine's Day, except for the guilt I was feeling over not doing anything special for my family. I hadn't made sugar cookies with almond frosting, or bought gifts or even planned something fun for me and my lover...I had just written the day off as a failure. I was scheduled to deliver my fourth child on the morning of the 16th, 2 days from now. I was huge and uncomfortable, and I couldn't figure out how I was going to sit in the chair at the salon for three hours while Megan performed her magic and made me wonderfully blonde.

The three hours at the salon passed surprisingly fast and I was off to pick up my kids from Haley's house. When I arrived I was invited to stay for lunch. I vegged on Haley's couch and just let her pamper me. Good 'ole Tyler even picked me up my very own Diet Pepsi and I sat and sipped on it for hours while the kids played.

The rest of the day is pretty blurry which means I probably went home and took a long nap. When Scott arrived home from work he had a beautiful bouquet of flowers in hand and my guilt for dropping the ball on Valentine's Day set in again. Bad Wife. Bad Mom.

When we retired to bed that night I sent a text to Haley to thank her for feeding and pampering the fat lady on her couch all afternoon. She was working the night shift as a nurse in Labor and Delivery at the hospital and told me NOT to go into labor because they were swamped and didn't have any room. I fell asleep thinking about how glad I was that I could just sleep the night away and knew that I was having the baby in two days. I still had a lot to do to get ready.

February 15, 2011

1:15 AM

I awoke in a sudden panic. I wondered if I had just wet my pants. I sat up on the side of my bed and felt a real rush of fluid and realized that this must be it, my water broke! A million thoughts went through my mind in that instant. At the top of the list was my amazement that I had been right.That the nagging feeling that I was going to go into labor on my own, which I had never done before, came true.

As I ran for the bathroom, it felt as if I was in a slow motion dream. What started out as instant excitement suddenly became my darkest fear. As my head turned around to view what was happening I noticed that what I thought had been my water breaking, instead was blood. In one second my eyes trailed from the blood on the mattress to the blood on the floor. I sat down on the toilet staring at the blood draining down my legs and I felt sudden panic. I had just read a blog about a couple wanting to adopt a child after their  own baby had been stillborn at 39 weeks. "Oh, please, Lord, no!"

I glanced back into the toilet at the blood that was coming out of me. From the bathroom I could see two blood clots laying on my carpet about the size of my fist. I finally came out of my daze. I yelled for Scott.

Scott had been disappearing to the couch every night. I had been suffering from a weird pregnancy symptom which had caused all of my sinuses to swell and I couldn't breathe at night. He couldn't stand the snoring (can you blame him?) and had stared sleeping on the couch. I yelled for him again. He entered the room and shock fell over him too. It was a bloody mess. I told him to get me my phone and I immediately began making phone calls from the bathroom toilet.

I called Haley but she didn't answer.

I called 911. I told the woman that answered that I was in shock and couldn't think clearly and to transfer me to the Hospital. She told me that she couldn't do that but that she could call them for me. This was perfect. I told her to tell Labor and Delivery that I was coming in and to make room, to call my doctor immediately and to have him on his way. I told her to tell them that I was bleeding, and bleeding hard. She asked me for some information and then we hung up. This was the best call I made. This wonderful woman was true to her word and the hospital was called immediately.

Next I called Dana Brown. This is my wonderful friend who told me, just in case I did go into labor to call her. She didn't answer. I panicked a little. Who do I call?

She called me back, almost instantly. Some relief set in. "Dana, I'm bleeding and I have to go to the hospital please come now!"

I asked Scott to bring me some large 30x20 absorbent pads that I had saved from my last C-Section. I wrapped them around my body, tried to rinse the blood off of my legs and started hurrying towards the door. Scott stopped me and told me that I had to put pants on. At the time this was annoying to me. I just wanted to go, and go NOW. But he helped me pull some sweatpants on. I took one last look as I left my bedroom. It looked like a murder scene to me. It felt like I had left a part of me allover the place. Blood on the bed, on the carpet, on the tile, dripping down the toilet, splattered in the shower. Off we went. Coat less. Shoeless.

The ride to the hospital was filled with the sound of my voice, praying and pleading with Heavenly Father to save the baby and let everything be alright. Was this it? Would I ever meet my son? I was shaking uncontrollably and could tell I was in shock.

Haley called me as we drove the short distance to the hospital. She told me she was there waiting for me.

I cried.

As I got out of the car I sat in the wheel chair. I was glad that Scott had made me put some pants on and that Haley was there to meet me. She rushed me towards Labor and Delivery.



Jaime said...

Oh man, Erin! I'm glad to know this has a happy ending.

Kelly said...

I feel your fear, had a very traumatic and scary
adventure when I had the twins. Sorry you had to
go through this but happy with the ending.

Harris Family said...

Oh my gosh Im in tears- I am so sorry!!! I cant wait to hear the rest of the story. I got a pic from my mom from your mom of your cute baby!!

Jill said...

Oh Erin, this sounds like a nightmare! What a terrifying night.

coco said...

i am so glad you are writing this down because you will be so glad. i am in tears and dying to hear the rest of the story. (i just remembered that i emailed your mom shortly after he was born and i never heard back from her. i have been thinking of you--jsut didn't want to bother you and thought i could help through your mom. i'm now thinking i must have used an old e-mail address or something) i want to see pictures! of the baby--not what you posted about:)

Angie said...

I'm crying reading what is only the beginning of your terrifying story! I am so glad that you're all doing well and that it is now a thing of the past...

hayleyrowan said...

we've been thinking about you so much. i hate to hear all of those scary things. i'm so glad he is here and i can't wait to see a photo of the little guy.

The Peterson Family said...

Wow so scary Erin. This might sounds off subject but I think you word things so well and have a great talent for writing. Anyway, I look forward to hearing the rest of your experience. Love and miss you.

The Bowldens said...

i'm so sorry erin! you arent a bad mom or wife, you were pregnant and not yourself. i dont know the ending but it looks like everything went well so i am so happy and thankful for that!

Anonymous said...

yes, praying this has a happy ending!