The Gift of Life Part Two: Preparations for Delivery

Continued From Here

February 15, 2011

1:30 AM

I had barely had time to sit on the bed when nurses started buzzing in around me. I knew them all. Haley, Julie and Tina...each performing their own task. One putting a gown on me, one giving me an IV, one trying to find the fetal heart rate on the monitor.

Trying.

Trying to find the heart beat. Trying.

Still trying.

Nothing.

And this is when I closed my eyes. I put my right arm up over my face covering my eyes and I just tried to hide. Hide my emotions, my shock, my fears. I listened. I was shaking and tears were streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't bare it.

Nothing.

One nurse took over the monitor. I could feel the tension between the two nurses. The silence was unbearable. All I could hear was static.

And then after what seemed like an eternity...

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.
He was there. He was still alive. He was still strong.

I still couldn't uncover my face. I couldn't look at anyone...I was in shock, shaking, cold, and starting to have strong contractions.

Ouch.

And for a brief moment I had a pretty normal thought about how in the world women have been enduring labor for all of time. How? It hurts so bad.

Ouch.

I was back in reality and knew that although things looked good on the monitor, something was wrong or I wouldn't be bleeding.

The room cleared for a brief moment and I asked Scott to give me a blessing. As he laid his hands on my head I felt a love that can only come from a father. My Heavenly Father. I don't remember what was said, only how I felt. I felt calm. Loved. Faithful. Even peaceful.

The room started buzzing again with nurses and Doctors.

My Dr. came into the room and for a minute I was able to joke light-heartedly about what had just taken place.

And for a moment, I allowed myself to feel excitement for the baby that I would (cross fingers) be holding very soon.

I told my Dr. to be careful. I told him that I wanted to have more kids. I told him to take his time and to put me back together better than he found me.

Who knew at that moment the irony that those words would soon possess?

Who knew?

Continued