Squeaking by...and The Continuous Conversion by Brad Wilcox

Sunday morning I pulled out my beautiful violin. Every time I open my case I am brought back to Christmas Day. I had no idea what was in that big box, and when I opened it, I wept with joy. I have always dreamed of learning to play the violin. And Scott knew it.

My Violin has now been in my possession for almost 3 months.

I tightened my bow, applied fresh rosin to it, and put my chin rest on my violin. I stared down the fingerboard making sure that I was going to hit an open A and then I started down with my bow stroke. It rang out beautifully until I willfully placed my first finger down, shooting for a B and missing terribly.

SQUEAK!

I quickly corrected my finger placing searching for the correct intonation. On and on I repeated these steps, hitting the note in one instant and then missing the mark in the next.

I practiced Twinkle Twinkle, I Am Like A Star Shining Brightly, and London Bridges. I played for about 15 minutes until I felt that Scott, who was trying to sleep about 5 feet away from where I was practicing, would ultimately get frustrated with my efforts and tell me to be quiet.

"So babe, what did you think of that?", I asked sarcastically, partially expecting abuse and  annoyance for interrupting his precious sleep.

"Erin, I could listen to you play all day", he said in a beautiful, sincere and genuine response.

I've been thinking of this continually this week. How could Scott, a seasoned Master of the violin, appreciated my small offering of a few pure notes and a thousand missed ones?

In the book The Continuous Conversion by BradWilcox he says,

Am I willing to gradually be perfected, or am I impatiently just wanting to be instantly made perfect?
To instantly play perfectly?
To just pick up my violin and play like the Master?

In the book, Wilcox uses an analogy that I loved.

"Many people, as they feel themselves falling short of perfection, are tempted to quit trying. But are there only two options?"

He continues, "When a person is learning to play the piano, are the only two options performing at Carnegie Hall or quitting?

NO!" he writes, "Growth and Development take time. Learning takes practice. Discipleship is a journey, and true conversion is a CONTINUOUS PROCESS."

So why is it that Scott, who plays the violin Perfectly; the perfect tone, the perfect vibrato...could appreciate and enjoy my squeaks?

Could it possibly be because he has been there?
Could it be because through years and years of practicing he has already paid the price?

Don't you think that one who has paid the price and put in the effort could enjoy the missed notes of a novice more than someone who never played the violin could appreciate the squeaky notes of an imperfect player.

And doesn't the Savior, our Master, appreciate our true, most sincere efforts to continually practice for perfection?
To strive to "learn heaven" and not "earn it."

Perfection takes time. It takes a Continuous Conversion.

And guess what?

The savior appreciates our continued efforts because:
He has been there.
He has already paid the Price.

And just like Scott said that he could listen to me play the violin all day, the Savior invites us too to make our best offering.

And through the atonement of Jesus Christ our tune can be perfected, our efforts magnified and we may all hear those precious words, "Well done thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things , I will make thee ruler over many things, enter thou into the joy of the Lord." (Matt 25: 21)

This book was wonderful and I strongly recommend it.
To purchase go to Deseret Bookstore

April 2012 General Conference--No Ordinary Blessing by Dieter F. Uchtdorf: (How to prepare for General Conference)

***Make sure to become a follower of this blog so that you can check back for Deseret Book Giveaway's, Visiting Teaching Handouts, and Free LDS Artwork! 

I am really excited to share this message with you. It is a great reminder of three important points we can remember and apply as we prepare and participate in General Conference.

This First Presidency Message was first published in the Ensign in September 2011.

You can view it {Here}

General Conference—No Ordinary Blessing

A fine member of the Church was talking with a neighbor who was not of our faith. When the topic of discussion turned to general conference, the neighbor asked, “You say you have prophets and apostles? And twice a year in a worldwide conference they reveal the word of God?”

“Absolutely,” the member replied with confidence.

The neighbor thought about that for a moment. He seemed genuinely interested and then asked, “What did they say in the last general conference?”

At this point the good member of the Church went from feeling excited about sharing the gospel to feeling embarrassed. Try as he might, he couldn’t think of the details of a single talk.

His friend found this troubling and said, “You mean to tell me that God speaks to man in our day and you can’t remember what He said?”

The brother felt humbled by this exchange. He vowed that he would do better to remember the words spoken by the Lord’s servants in general conference.

We all know how hard it is to remember every message of general conference, and I’m confident that we need not be embarrassed if we don’t remember everything. Nevertheless, there are messages in each general conference given as a gift and a blessing from heaven specifically for our personal life situations.

In preparation for general conference, let me suggest three basic concepts that may help us to better receive, remember, and apply the words spoken by the Lord’s servants.

1. Members of the Church are entitled to personal revelation as they listen to and study the inspired words spoken at general conference.

As you prepare for general conference, I invite you to ponder questions you need to have answered. For example, you might yearn for direction and guidance by the Lord regarding challenges you are facing.

Answers to your specific prayers may come directly from a particular talk or from a specific phrase. At other times answers may come in a seemingly unrelated word, phrase, or song. A heart filled with gratitudefor the blessings of life and an earnest desire to hear and follow the words of counsel will prepare the way for personal revelation.

2. Don’t discount a message merely because it sounds familiar.

Prophets have always taught by repetition; it is a law of learning. You will hear repetition in themes and doctrines in general conference. Let me reassure you: this is not due to a lack of creativity or imagination. We continue to hear messages on similar issues because the Lord is teaching and impressing upon our minds and hearts certain foundational principles of great eternal importance that must be understood and acted upon before we can move on to other things. A wise builder first lays the foundation before erecting the walls and the roof.

3. The words spoken at general conference should be a compass that points the way for us during the coming months.

If we listen to and follow the promptings of the Spirit, they will serve as a Liahona, guiding us through the unknown, challenging valleys and mountains that are ahead (see 1 Nephi 16).

Since the world began, God has raised up prophets who speak the will of heaven to the people of their times. It is our responsibility to listen and then apply the messages the Lord provides for us.

Our merciful and loving Heavenly Father has not forsaken and will not forsake His children. Today, as well as in times past, He has appointed apostles and prophets. He continues to reveal His word to them.

What a marvelous privilege it is to hear God’s messages for each of us during general conference! Let us prepare well for this great blessing of divine guidance delivered by His chosen servants.

For this is no ordinary blessing.

Week 3 Report & Weight In: Oh Crap

Alright people it is time to get serious. I'm lost in limbo. My brain is mentally defeating me.

It is time to get serious and kick some butt because I have a long road ahead of me. I still need to lose 30 lbs.

30 lbs.

Yikes, that is a small person.
I've gone downhill the past few weeks. I've been feeling sorry for myself. I packed up all of my baby stuff and gave it away. {insert tears}

I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that I am probably {most likely but will still have to fast and pray about it} done having babies.

I wanted 20 of them you know. {And so did Scott which makes it even harder to accept}

But my poor body has been through a lot. And I have 4 beautiful children that need a mom that can take care of them.

So while I might visit this thought in the future...for now I need to be content, and grateful, and happy with what I have. {even though I really wish I was trying for another baby}

So there have been a lot of tears. I'm pretty sad. {REALLY SAD!}

And when my friend showed up on Saturday 

and took away all my sweet baby things, 

I opened up my heart to a different plan. 

Not the one I had ever had in my mind.

The one where I don't get to see those pink lines on that stick.

I won't get to see my stomach roll when I lay in the tub.

I won't feel the tiny impressions of those first few kicks.

I won't watch in amazement at the ultrasound on the monitor.

I won't feed a new little one for the first time.

I have some really deep soul searching to do.
Some prayers that need to be answered and peace that needs to be found.

I have never wanted to do anything but be a mother.

On the other hand, I can barely keep up with the kids that I have. So I have a lot still to learn. I still have little ones to love and hold and kiss and snuggle with. I have plenty of laundry to wash, floors to clean, towels to fold, meals to make, and carpools to drive.

I just find so much joy and contentment and love in adding to our family.

I secretly want to adopt two little Ethiopian kids. 

A girl and a boy.

Lucy and Luther.

Ya, they have names in my mind.

And maybe I will find them. Maybe they will find me.

Or maybe I will just have to give my love to others through service. Lose myself in serving the Lord.

I have been given so much already. SO much.

So I am committing now to stop feeling sorry for myself.
I'm going to start feeling gratitude everyday.
I'm going to discover what else I have to offer the world.
I'm going to keep working towards my health and fitness goals.

I am going to get there.
And awesome things are going to happen along the way.