A Surprise For 2015. What the?

 

For those of you that still follow this blog I wanted to include you in our exciting announcement. Sometimes life comes with impossible surprises and we have received such a gift. The followers of this blog know that after my last surgery to fix my bladder and my uterus I was warned not to have any more children because of the hish risk involved. And to be honest, we weren't even sure it would be possible. But the Lord had a different plan for our family and we are so grateful.

Our best Family Home Evening ever! Scott Peterson
Posted by Erin Peterson on Friday, July 24, 2015

 

And our Gender Reveal was fun too.

We are so excited and blessed to be expecting a baby girl in January 2016.

God is so good and we are truly blessed and amazed by this incredible miracle he has performed.

Top Ten Reasons "It's probably time to have another baby"!

I think that all my friends know that I wish I was pregnant. I'm pretty sure I bore everyone to death with my sob story of how bad I WANT another baby. Scott and I have always dreamed of having a large family and while we love and cherish each of our kids, it is hard not being able to grow into the family we wish we had.

After Wyatt was born we were warned about the dangers of my Uterus being able to carry another infant to term and the risks associated with attempting another pregnancy.

I had surgery to try and help my uterus be more viable and the Lord knows that we are both willing, however, so far we have not been given the approval of the Lord to try and have another baby.

So while we are in this waiting game, and while our window of opportunity is getting smaller, I often find myself laughing and crying about the silly things I find my baby hungry self doing.

Sometimes I even find myself mourning the kids I never got to have.

So here is my list, from my own experience of course, for all of you that are perfectly capable of having another healthy pregnancy, of how you will know when "It's probably time to have another baby."

Here Goes!

Top Ten reasons "It's probably time to have another baby"!

10. When your kids start complaining to you that they have nothing to do, it's probably time to have another baby.

9. If you're still keeping track of when you ovulate each month and every time you think to yourself..."Ya baby, I'm fertile", it's probably time to have another baby.

8. If you find yourself procrastinating potty-training your 3-year old and you DON'T want to give up diapers, it's probably time to have another baby.

7. If you're out in your garden digging holes for tulip bulbs and you start imagining placing each bulb into a healthy uterus, it's probably time to have another baby.

6. When you daydream about a total stranger walking up to you and giving you their baby, it's probably time to have another baby.

5. When your younger kids start acting demanding and entitled, it's probably time to have another baby.

4. When you find yourself contemplating buying a puppy for $850.00 dollars and  you have never even considered having a dog, it's probably time to have another baby.

3. When you find yourself borrowing babies to snuggle at church and not wanting to give them back, it's probably time to have another baby.

2. If you find yourself randomly picking up your 90 lb. 10 year old, and walking around the house with him cradled in your arms singing tender lullaby's, it's probably time to have another baby.

1. When you actually start volunteering to change your friends baby's poopy diapers, it's probably time to have another baby.


Well, I now officially have rid my house of any leftover baby items. They are gone. I'm adjusting to the idea that I need to just be a great mom to the wonderful kids I do have and keep borrowing babies at church.

Have any of you ever felt similar?

Forgetting Anniversaries

What is it about Anniversaries?

Why are some anniversaries so easy to forget and some seem to cling to us. Some are special and filled with so much meaning, some bring pain, some remind us of what we have lost or what we have gained; and every year they deliver their dose of remembering. It is just one date on the calendar and yet life seems to culminate to that ONE big day lurking right around the corner.

A year ago today is the day I woke up in a pool of blood. A year ago today my medical problems started.

A year ago today is the day that my perfect, sweet baby Wyatt came into this world.

Happy Birthday Wyatt.

Your journey into this world was not an easy one. We almost lost you. And my body took a beating for it. But never for one second did I ever, ever, ever not feel complete gratitude that you made it here to me. You see, you made every painful tear, every surgery, every infection, every ER trip worth it.

SO WORTH IT!

Having you to hold in my arms gave me the strength to fight through the hurt. You gave me such a gift Wyatt. Having you made everything okay. It made it so easy to forgive the medical mistakes, to fight through the painful nights, to laugh when I wanted to cry, to fight when I wanted to give up, to move forward when it was all said and done.


But Anniversaries are a funny thing.
It seems only fitting that you came into this world fighting for your life, and I've spent the past year fighting to get mine back.
And here we both are, on your birthday, with terrible, terrible colds. Coughing, sneezing, and wiping our noses, with Pink Eye to boot. But we are sharing it together and I love you even more because of it.

It is me and you kid.
You are my miracle.
You are my sweet baby boy.

I love you to the moon and back, over and over, again and again, you shine in so many ways and my heart has been stretched to capacity because of you.

Happy Birthday Wyatt.

Love, Mama
xoxo

Week 1 Report & Weigh-in

It is time to get back on track.

When I started this Journey of mine in September, I had no idea what the future would hold. I felt old, weak, slow, fat, out-of-shape, injured, sick and pretty disappointed in myself.

By the end of October I felt strong, awesome, powerful, healthy, fit, quick, in control, motivated, and excited about the future. I was PROUD of myself. All that in two months of being consistent. Quite the Profit.

In November I found out that I had to have a pretty intensive surgery and it sort of paralyzed my efforts. I was still working out like a machine, but I started eating my emotions and my fears a little bit. I fought it with everything that I had, but I was pretty scared and insecure about the future and it was defiantly playing a major roll in my weight loss. I was still proud of myself for continuing to workout...the old me would have quit.

And now December 15th has come and gone and I feel that it is a true miracle that I am doing so great. I feel great, I feel blessed, I feel FIXED.

So now what? I have NO more excuses. REALLY. None. I'm better than I could have ever hoped for. 

So here is to 2012.

A year of reaching my goals.

Pushing myself.

Being an example.

Overcoming my fear of failure.

Relying on the Lord for strength in moments of weakness.

Enjoying this body that I have.

Loving this body that I have.

Using this body that I have.

Today was my first day POST-OP in the gym. I took it easy. I tried to be smart. I felt like I wanted to fly.

It was hard not to do more. 

But, I felt strong. I felt awesome. I felt powerful and healthy and fit and quick and in control.

I am realizing just how much all that training did to help me prepare to recover from the surgery. When I found out about my surgery it felt like my efforts were wasted and I was going to have to start all over again.

But what really happened is that my training made ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

And while I gained a few pounds being idle and eating holiday treats, I didn't lose any muscle. And I didn't lose my vision.

So I'm back. And I could really use some company.

Do any of you want to join me?

This journey isn't just about losing weight. It is about getting FIT and LIVING LIFE.

What are your health and fitness goals this year?

I want to hear!!!!

(I'm not weighing in for another week or so. But I will soon. And I am being accountable.) 

Wednesday: Did You Know?

1. Christmas is amazing. I can't believe how much I love ribbon, wrapping paper, and family.  The kids love it too and Kate and Sawyer had so much fun decorating Papa. My dad is a kid at heart and is so patient with the kids. Isn't he cute!

 2. How cute is Sawyer rolling out the cookie dough that came in {this amazing Christmas Cookie Basket from the Folkman's}. You have to check out the link. It is the cutest Christmas Gift idea I've ever seen. Rachel is a genius, just like her mother and always puts together amazing theme ideas. It blew my mind, and my kids were the ones that benefited from the great gift. They had so much fun making and decorating cookies with Nana.

3. Before we left Utah on Tuesday, we hit up the Quicksilver store in Provo. Everything was 75% off and we scored. My favorite purchase was this flannel shirt for Sawyer. Oh my heavens I am in love with it. It cost me a Whopping 2 bucks. So cute.

4. I'm going to stop talking as much about my medical issues. There will be a few more posts, but I'm sure you are all sick of hearing about 'poor' me. So here it is. It is two weeks post surgery and I am FABULOUS!!! I can't believe how good I am. Miracle after Miracle have gotten me here and I feel so blessed to be doing so well. The worst part of the entire surgery was my rash, and the first time they filled up my bladder with fluid.

My catheter got a hole in the bag the night before I had it removed and so I had to double bag it with grocery bags. SO GROSS!!! But pretty funny.

I am TUBE free, PAIN free and I have no holes in my bladder or uterus that aren't supposed to be there! AMAZING! I feel so blessed.

5. Scott and I laid in bed last night while Sawyer was sleeping on the floor. (This happens a lot. Don't ask.) He started telling  us jokes and we were laughing so hard. I can't believe that he is almost 3. I have enjoyed him so much. Everything that he says or does is just magic. I sure have a soft spot for him in my heart. I love all my kids so much, but every mom should have a Sawyer.

6. Today, when I put Kate's hair up in pig tails I made her promise me that she would wash her hair tomorrow. It has seriously been a week since she washed her hair. Gross. She sure clean's up cute though.

7. Wyatt is getting really mobile and really brave. This is him yelling at me for trapping him in the living room with stools. I'm not sure what to do with him. He is everywhere. He is hilarious. And really smiley, as long as he is roaming free.

8. Scott left the house today and exclaimed "we are going to a family movie tonight if the house is clean when I get home." I know that this incentive was for the kids...but good grief, that is still a lot of pressure on me. I better get busy!

9. On Monday, Kimm, Nana and the clan took me and my Catheter to see A Dolphin's Tale (my first public outing with my pee). I cried about 10 times.  I dreamed of being a dolphin trainer as a child and still have a love for the Sea and it's creatures. Great movie. Scott ended up driving the two babies (yes I still call Sawyer my baby) around in the car for most of the movie. Thanks Scott.

10. My first night without my catheter and my first night with a working bladder I had to use the bathroom about every 45 minutes. This is worse than pregnancy. I literally felt like I was going to the bathroom all night long. (TMI I know!) Anyway, tell your bladder that you love it!

How was your Christmas?

What is the longest your daughter has gone without washing her hair?

Do you have a extra soft spot for any of your children?

Mom Guilt

It is officially Day 10 of Scott taking care of EVERYTHING and me doing NOTHING. 


The mom guilt is killing me. 


Never have I wanted to do laundry, the dishes, or change diapers more.


I am recovering really well. Actually I think remarkably well. However, I am not suppose to really do anything. I can walk around and that is about it. Do you know how hard it is to keep myself from doing things. Especially picking up my sweet baby Wyatt when he is crying and looking right into my eyes. It takes all of my restraint.


Scott took off with the kids today and I haven't seen him in about 4 hours. He has been so wonderful. I always brag about how amazing he is...but he really is so amazing. He can do it ALL. And he has been so kind and wonderful through this whole ordeal. And for a guy to look lovingly at his wife while she is holding her own bag of urine...that says something folks!!!

This picture isn't the best quality, but it just perfectly illustrates Scott's role in this family. He is the Center. He makes sense out of all of our jumbled quirks and our family just works because of him. His focus is our family. It always has been and I know it always will be. He finds so much joy in being a Father and I love him so much.


I am amazed at how wonderful the hard times can be.  I've been forced to slow down and completely stop being a mom, or at least the majority of my mom roles. But my sweet hubs has taken over in every way and I love him. 


Do you hear that? I love you Scotty.

Post-Op Thoughts...Lot's and Lot's

• Waking up from surgery and seeing Scott and my parents huddled in the corner with tears in their eyes was a moment in time I will never forget. Oh the blessed state of being alive!!!
• It is such a relief to have the surgery behind me. I will be very grateful to never have to stay in the hospital again. Ever. Never. Ever.
• It is funny realizing that the surgery has been way less painful than I thought it would be.
• I am also realizing that it is going to be a much longer recovery than I anticipated. When they said I wouldn't be lifting anything for 6 weeks they weren't kidding. I have two babies people. How am I going to make it?

• I tried so hard to read, sleep, watch movies, and blog, but I was a  total zombie. I couldn't do anything. My mind was a wasteland. The whole thing so far is one big blur.
• I was so grateful for visitors while I was in the hospital. I wish I would have had more visits. I can't believe how much it helped having people stop by.
• The surgery ended up taking 5 hours and I feel so bad for Scott who had to wait and wait and wait with no word from the Doctors.
• Dr. Cahoon explained the entire surgery to me in great detail after I woke up from the Anesthesia and I have no recollection of this whatsoever.
• Getting poked by nurses who can't find your veins is really annoying. And painful.

• This Bair Paws Machine is AMAZING and I wish I had one at home. It blows warm air out of a hose and I put it under my blankets and it kept me super comfortable and warm. Where was this machine when I had spinal meningitis?
• This was my first hospital visit ever where all the buttons on my bed worked. The TV remote worked, the lights worked, and even the rolling table worked with no problems. Luxury I tell you.
• If I had to say one bad thing about my stay it would be the food. They didn't have a menu. I really like when I get to plan what I eat instead of mystery meals just being brought in.

• This picture is Ashley. She is like a sister to me and she works at the hospital. After her shift she came in and helped me change, walk around my room for the first time. She was a great blessing to me and I love her so much. She was made to be a nurse. 

• Can you tell how stoned I am in this picture. My eyes were barely able to stay open, I couldn't focus on anything and I felt like I was flying. Those are strong drugs my friends. Strong.
• I had two catheters after the surgery and one drainage tube. I still have one catheter and it comes out of my stomach and it is really freaky. I have to carry it around with me and Sawyer calls it my "ewe, yukky poop bag". This makes me feel really loved. There is nothing worse than carrying around your own pee bag. EXCEPT for carrying around your own pee bag that isn't working. (Like last time. That was super painful.)

• Come one. Tell me how bad you wish you could carry around your own urine? When was the last time you told your bladder how much your loved it? Bladders are awesome. Bags of pee are not.
• My biggest worry was being able to go #2. I have had success. Nough' Said.

• I love Michael Buble. Love him. Not as much as my friend Laurel loves him, but he is most excellent. I rocked to his Christmas tunes while I was in the hospital. It helped.

• I have a beautiful 7 inch long incision that starts at by belly button and goes down, down, down. It is lovely. NOT.

• And seroiusly, NOTHING has made me feel better than having my sister JENNA put on these eyelash extensions. I love them. They make me feel feminine and girly, and a little bit less like an ugly jigsaw puzzle. BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER JENNA. I LOVE YOU.

• The only complication that I have had is an allergic reaction to the glue and tape they used on my incision. It is completely scabbed over with blisters and such. It hurts and itches and looks terrible. 
• I've been taking Benedryl for the allergies and I have slept for the past three days straight. I have slept all day and all night. LITERALLY. 
• My Mother-in-law Shawna has taken over the care of everything at my house. EVERYTHING. Remember I told you that I have been sleeping for 3 days straight. She is remarkable.
• My friends and neighbors have taken care of all the food and meals so far. They are the best people in the world and I can't believe that I lucked out getting to live next to them.

Well, I am making it through this. It hasn't been easy. I will be happy when the catheter is taken out on Tuesday. For now I have given up all Christmas goals and ideas and projects. They just aren't going to happen. It is okay. I feel closer to my Savior than ever before. More aware of his mighty power and love for his children. More aware of his love for me, and his willingness to bear my afflictions.

I am so blessed. I am so humbled. I am so grateful.

I am alive. I am ticking.

And pretty soon I will be back to normal. And I will have to try a lot harder to remember where I have been, and what I have been through. But I am determined to remember these lessons, these little nuggets of wisdom, the gratitude for life that I have been given.

I am most likely not making sense, I am on drugs, remember?

But I am so blessed.

Remember that.

Love to  you all!!!!

PS. I've missed you. How are you all doing?

Spinal Meningitis Symptoms: Please Read!

{Please Read The Symptoms 

even if you don't have time to read the guts.}

Spinal Meningitis

• Severe & Worsening Headache 
• Extremely stiff neck and spine
• Fever & Chills
• Vomiting or loss of appetite
• Confusion
• Sensitivity to light

I am so heartbroken today. On Monday a Young Man passed away from meningitis. He left behind 3 children under the age of 4 and a pregnant wife. 

For those of you that don't know, I was hospitalized with Spinal Meningitis last year.

I want to quickly educate you on some of the basics of Meningitis.

First of all there is no way to know what kind of meningitis you or your child has without seeing your doctor and undergoing a spinal tap.

1. Viral meningitis may improve without treatment in a few days.
2. Bacterial meningitis is serious, and requires prompt antibiotic treatment to avoid serious brain damage, hearing loss and death. Some types of bacterial meningitis can prove fatal if not treated within the first 24 hours of symptoms.

The scariest thing about Meningitis is that it isn't easy to know if you have it. 

{Here is a brief account of my story}

August 24th of 2010 I was making dinner and started to get a headache. By the time 7:00pm rolled around and The Bachelor came on I was laying in bed with a really bad headache. I remember laying there trying to watch the show, but not really being able to concentrate on what was happening. My headache started at the front of my head and spread evenly and consistently over my head and started down the back of my head. The only way I can describe it was like putting on a headache helmet. It started in the front and as it got worse it just followed down my neck.

I was 14 weeks pregnant and thought that the headache was pregnancy related. I fell asleep and woke up at 11:00 pm. When I woke up I told Scott to go to the store and get me Excedrin and Sprite. Being pregnant, I knew I wasn't suppose to take anything, but I had gotten to the point that I didn't care. The fever and chills started in and I was so out of it. I fell asleep again and woke up at 4:00 in the morning. The house was quiet and I made my way to the kitchen. I opened up the cupboard and pulled out the Children's Tylenol and drank what was left in the bottle (not recommended). I got on my knees and started to pray. 

I asked Heavenly Father to please let me know if something was seriously wrong. I asked for guidance. It felt different from anything I had ever felt before. I knew I was really sick. I just didn't know if I needed treatment.

I got on the internet and started typing in my symptoms. I used the symptom checker at the MayoClininc.com. Meningitis was the first cause listed. I didn't have any idea what it was. My symptoms seemed to be exact.

I prayed again. I didn't want to feel like a fool if I showed up at the ER and only had the FLU. I wasn't sure what was wrong.

As I prayed I had the distinct impression that it was not worth risking the health of the baby and to get myself to the ER. 

By this time the Tylenol had kicked in a little and it was 6 am. I decided to drive myself to the ER (small town, only a few blocks away but still stupid in hindsight). When I got there I told them that I thought I had meningitis and I needed a spinal tap.

When the Dr. came into the room he told me...

"Having meningitis is like winning the lottery. 

It Doesn't happen that often, but when it does it is big."

 He told me my chances of having meningitis were small and that he didn't think I needed a spinal. 

I can only thank the Holy Ghost for confirming to me at that point that I needed to have a spinal. I told the doctor that I wanted to have the spinal and he agreed.

( I will just throw in here that having a spinal while being pregnant with meningitis was one of the most painful experiences of my life.)

Within an hour I had the results that I did in fact have meningitis. I was admitted into the hospital immediately.

It took 48 hours to confirm that I had viral meningitis and not bacterial, but my five day stay in the hospital was the best thing for me. I was so sick. Shaking, puking, stiff, weak, freezing, headache from HELL. It took almost a month for me to regain my strength to even be able to walk around my house. I thank my Heavenly Father for guiding me safely through it.

Please familiarize yourself with the symptoms so that if you or one of your children ever have them, you will recognize them. It could save lives.

I am so, so, so sad for this poor family.

Utah Recap: A Surprise, Friends & Family, The Real Diagnosis

I was planning on heading to Utah on Tuesday, but decided last minute to pick up and leave on Halloween. It was perfect timing because Scott was HORRIFIED when he got home from work. He had quite a scare when he saw the piles of laundry and the sink full of dishes that I left him to take care of. Hee hee hee...I'm always sneaking out of my duties aren't I. Scott and Dylan stayed behind and I took the rest of the kids with me.

Kate, Sauce and Wiggs were waiting on the door step for Nana and Papa to open the door. 

It was an Awesome Surprise. 

They had NO idea we were coming.

Wyatt was so cute just sitting up like a big boy in his little Devil Costume.

My mom always has yummy bread bowls and soup waiting for visitors on Halloween so we hit the jackpot.

The Robinson's were over so we got to chat with them for a bit. It was so fun.

My Dad loves to sneak up on the kids wearing his fake teeth. Sawyer was a little bit scared.

We ventured next door to visit my Uncle Jeff and Aunt Pam. Holland was over visiting and I was so happy to see her. I'm in love with her and one of these days I'm taking her. Whit, you better keep a close eye on her. She is all mine! So cute.

Uncle Jeff also had a bag of gifts waiting to give to Kate. My kids love visiting Uncle Jeff's house. He always is sending them home with such nice gifts. Kate was thrilled and I couldn't believe how generous they are with my kids when they have about 200 of their own adorable grand kids. I love them.

Friends & Family

On our trip we got to see...

• Joe & Courtney (Kate was in Heaven trick or treating with Sailor and her big girl friends.)
• Shayne & Mike (They let us hang out at their house and it was so fun to chat and gab)
• Hollie & Kids (Hollie watched my kids for me TWICE, for both of my Dr.'s appointments she has been my best friend for like 25 years or something. We are getting old.
• Kimm (we had a sleepover at my parents house. Come on, you are never too old for a sleepover.)
• Angela (I got to visit her and she also watched my kids for me when I had my CAT scan on Friday.)
• Dustin & Jenna (we had a mock birthday party for Kate Bug and we met at Malawi's in Provo.)
• Jill ( Jill is a blogging friend of mine and I surprised her at her work. If you want to see a really ugly picture of me you can click over to her blog. {She captured the moment}.)
• The Robinson's (I took sue some creamies because she is still trying to recover from her HUGE surgery and still feeling pretty lousy.)

The REAL Diagnosis

Thursday I went in for my bladder scope. There is a fancy word for it but it escapes me. It was pretty uncomfortable and pretty painful. I tried to be strong but I started crying. I became really emotional when Dr. Cahoon found the hole (fistula) which I had been suspecting.

I'm not sure why I started crying so hard. 

It felt good to know that I wasn't crazy. 

It was scary knowing that I was going to have to have it fixed. 

It brought back a lot of painful memories from my recovery earlier this year.

It also brought up feelings of anger. 

Dr. Cahoon saw that I was emotional and let me get dressed and then meet him in his office. I was glad that my mom was with me. Some things are just too hard to do on your own.

At one point I because emotional again. I was feeling so angry. I was so mad that this had even happened to me in the first place and that nobody believed me or listened to me for the last 8 months.

I excused myself and went into the bathroom. I knelt down and started to pray. (I probably should have thought about this more because I had spilled my urine sample on the floor earlier. I wonder how much pee is on that floor. It has to happen all the time. I said a swear word when I spilled my urine and I NEVER swear. Gross.) I asked Heavenly Father to forgive me for being angry. I asked him to help me forgive my OBGYN and the nurse that poked the hole in my bladder. I started to feel grateful. Grateful that I am alive. Grateful that I found a Doctor that can help me get better. Grateful that I had been inspired to know what was wrong with myself. Grateful that I wasn't in pain. Grateful that I had a healthy family. Grateful that I was the one that was in need of help and not one of my children. Grateful that I was alive and not worse.

I found that I had a lot to be grateful for.

I was still really emotional as I went back into Dr. Cahoon's office to discuss the process of fixing me.

The Verdict:

It is a pretty intensive surgery. They will have to work to separate the bladder and the uterus. They will have to slice open the bladder again and remove all the bad tissue and all of the stuff that is in my bladder. (You don't even want to know). They will then close the bladder back up. They will also close up the hole in my Uterus. Then they will try to put new tissue between the Bladder and the Uterus. They will also try to pull down some of my Omentum (have you ever watched Dr. Oz?) and try to get it to lay between the two organs. Hopefully this will help them from joining each other again. There is a nice chance that I will also have a big huge scar heading north up to my belly button. I told the doctor that I am way past vanity and I just want to be BETTER. 

He sent me for a CT Scan on Friday. I've been having an issue with my bowel too so I am suppose to schedule a colonoscopy. I want to wait to see what the CT scan says before I do that though.

Okay, now I'm just rambling. I'm sure at some point I will talk more about this, but for now I am just going to be GRATEFUL I am on my way to recovery.

Have a great weekend folks.

Do you love Surprises?

Have you had a Colonoscopy?

Have you told your Bladder lately that you love it?

Have you ever spilled your urine sample?

What are you GRATEFUL FOR?

Hard Choice?

Today I head back to the Urologist to have a scope. They will send a tiny camera into my bladder to look for holes, stones, foreign tissues, etc.Today should most likely confirm what I already know. And then hopefully I am on my way to getting everything fixed. Yippee!!!

I'm seriously not looking forward to Surgery though. If I'm going to have major surgery I want it when I am delivering my 5th baby. My deepest wish is that I will get well enough to be cleared to have another baby.

I really don't like the option being taken from me. And yet I know that I can't risk not being around for the beautiful children I already have.

I thought that this cartoon is pretty funny and pretty real.

Have you worked out lately?

Have you?

Don't wait until it is too late. Take control of what you have control over.

And the biggest news of the day is that.....

I am going to New York Next week!!!!!!
I am so excited! I have never been and even though I will only be there for 2 days...I don't care!


Wahooooooooo!!!

My mom asked me if I wanted to go with her. She will be there for three weeks. And guess what, I booked a ticket, which is so  not like me, and I'm going. I still can't believe it. 

Do you want more kids but have been cautioned not to have more?

Have you been to New York?

If I only have two days and it is my first time, what should I do and see? 

Self Diagnosis

I have to write this down. 

Feel free to NOT read this post if it is just too much information.

Remember last year when I was at the emergency room and the ER doctor told me that my chances of having spinal meningitis were about as good as me winning the LOTTERY???
And remember when he told me not to have a spinal, but that it was up to me?
And remember how hard it was for me to decide to have a spinal but I just went with my deepest feelings which I feel to be right? (thank you Holy Ghost)
And remember when I did have Spinal Meningitis {What a way to win the lotto?} and ended up spending a week in the hospital?

Well I remember. It was so weird. But through prayer and the Holy Ghost I just sort of knew what was wrong with me.

And now I think that I have Menouria. If you knew how rare this is you would probably not pay much attention to me just like my Doctors.

Menouria is { Menstruation occurring through the urinary bladder as a result of vesicouterine fistula}

So far I'm the only one who thinks that I have this, but I REALLY think that I do.

Remember last month when I posted that horrible picture of my urine {Here}.

Well it started again today. Just out of the blue. Perfect urine...straight to Bleeding To Death Urine. So this has happened {THREE} consecutive months in a row.

Remember when my Doctor completely bisected my bladder during my C-section in February?
Remember how he then had to sew my bladder closed and I lost half of the size of my bladder?
Remember then how the nurse shoved the Foley of my catheter through my suture line and blew the Foley up inside of my Uterus.

Ya, well I think that there is still a hole there {fistula}. And I think that this is why I am so prone to infection, incontinence, and bleeding every month.

I know that people are going to think that I am nuts, but I'm going with it.

I have two doctor's appointments in American Fork next week and I am really {cross fingers} hoping that they will be able to figure out what is wrong with me.

I'm actually REALLY hoping that I am wrong. Because if I am right it will mean a major surgery to correct it.

So until I know more I am just going to keep saying my prayers, taking care of myself, working out, eating right, and trying to stay positive {which is kind of getting hard. Good thing I have the whole month of November to think about my blessings and be thankful}.

I have much to be thankful for. I really do.

Okay, I feel better.

Chronic Urinary Tract Infections : Self Urinalysis

Exhibit A

I am writing this post in an effort to help anyone out there that seems to be suffering from chronic urinary tract infections (UTI). Ever since Wyatt was born and my Dr. bisected my bladder, I have had pretty much straight UTI's. It is starting to get really annoying.

Every time I went to the Dr. it was a $30.00 copay and the cultures and tests would cost me extra too. Plus, I had to drive to Idaho Falls (30 minutes away) just to pee in a cup.

Enter Exhibit A: I know what you are all thinking, did she really pee in that green Ikea cup, and if so...are my kids going to be drinking out of that cup the next time we visit? Well, the answer is Yes & Yes. But I promise to sanitize said Green Cup and if you are still worried, feel free to request a Blue, Yellow, Pink or Orange cup. The point is...I finally got smart and Purchased 100 Rapid Response Urinalysis Strips off of eBay for $23.00. Now, whenever I feel symptoms coming on, or in my case I start losing complete control of my bladder {like this morning when I completely wet my pants without the slightest notion that I was going to}, I then can test myself and see if anything is going on.

So today my strip tells me that I have:

• Higher than normal Blood in my urine.
• Higher than normal Protein in my urine.
• Higher than normal Leukocytes in my urine.

So I know now that I need to start my antibiotic that I have on hand. This is also something that I would recommend. Ask you doctor to add refills to your prescription so if you test positive for an infection, you can just refill it and start taking it at onset.

And please use caution if you follow my tips. Online you can find great sources to help you interpret the results of your Urinalysis. But you still should listen to your body and your brain and see a physician if the problem persists. 

Happy Urine!

Gut Ache...

I've decided I'm not eating anything today. Probably not tomorrow either. This means that I'm going to actually have to do housework, or pull weeks or something. How else am I going to distract myself from NOT eating. I mean, my favorite thing to do is plan my next meal. But I guess I can't clean the kitchen. Too tempting. Or clean the family room, cuz we all know that TV and FOOD go together like Bread and Butter.

Did I just say Bread and Butter. 

Now I'm hungry.

OH brother...I'm doomed. I guess pick weeds it is.

My tummy hurts really bad. I think it is a complication from my {super fun medical stuff} that has been going on for SIX months now. But I don't have hard feelings {Stupid Doctor that cut my bladder in half and I think messed up part of my intestine}, because I know that nobody is perfect {although you sort of expect them to be when you pay them a bazillion dollars to take your baby out of you}, and accidents happen {for the LOVE}.

But I am grateful {I am alive and semi-ticking and I have the cutest healthy little boy ever}. 

It could be worse right? {Like my DEAR SUE who is battling Pancreatic Cancer right now and enduring her 6th round of Chemo, or Sweet beautiful BABY RUBY JANE, who needs a Liver Transplant like YESTERDAY.}

so I am Blessed.

All I know is that I don't want another day like yesterday, or night like last night.

So NO FOOD!!! ...Until my stomach feels better. 

Which it will...I'm sure...eventually.

I'm going to drown myself in liquids today and hope that my gut stops aching.  

Somebody say a prayer for my innards {and for Sue and Ruby Jane if you would be so kind}.

AND

Somebody eat something yummy on my behalf. Like chocolate, or a Cafe Rio Burrito {and please report!}.

Yum.

Sawyer Has Surgery

On July 29th, Scott and I had to take Sawyer to the hospital at 5:00 AM for Surgery.

When we arrived Sawyer was really happy.

As soon as the nurse came into the room he knew something was up and became

really mad and really worried. When Sawyer was born, we were advised not to have his circumcised.

Sawyer was born without much of a foreskin and the Pediatrician felt it was in his best interest to wait until he was a little older to see if he would even need to have it done.

Well, we waited and at his check-up we were told that it was up to us if we wanted to do it. 

We decided that it was better now than at the age of 14 or something.

I will just give you my opinion for a second...

ONLY BABIES SHOULD BE CIRCUMCISED.

Don't ever wait. It was horrible.

The Doctor's gave Sawyer a drug that was suppose to make him really loopy.

It took a while for it to kick in.

Luckily the nurse had a Thomas Book and this helped Sawyer calm down 

quite a bit as the drug started to take it's effect.

It was so sad seeing him so upset. Luckily, they waited until he was under anesthesia before putting his IV in.

Scott wasn't going to come with me this morning, but I'm so glad that he did. Sawyer weighs a ton, plus having Wyatt with me also would have just been too much.

The saddest part was when they came to take him for surgery. He didn't want to lay on the bed, so the Dr. held him in his arms and Sawyer wrapped his arms around the Dr.'s neck and then Sawyer just stared at Scott and I as they carried him towards the Operating Room. Both Scott and I said to each other that we will never forget that moment. It was SWEET and AWFUL at the same time.

This photo is after the Surgery as Sawyer is trying to come out of his Anesthesia. He was so upset. 

He cried and screamed for a LONG time.

Scott walked the halls with him for two hours. Scott has strong arms because I wouldn't have been able to make it 15 minutes. At one point Scott rolled past the room where I was on a big  office chair with Sawyer in his arms. It thought this was so funny. He stole the chair from someones office.

This is my favorite picture. The lighting is terrible, but it is what I remember from that moment.

A father taking care of his son.

No Greater Love.

We took Sawyer to Toy's R Us to pick out a new train. This lifted his spirits a lot.

The next week was really hard for him. He still ran around and played, but he would stop sometimes and cry a little and grab his diaper and say OW-eeeeeee.

Good Heaven's please don't ever do this to your child.

He is all better now, but it was sad.

AND EXPENSIVE.

Sawyer Splits His Eye Open...

At 10:30 PM Thursday night, Scott and I heard Sawyer Screaming from downstairs. It was the kind of scream that you know means BUSINESS. I had left Sauce on my bed watching a TV show because he wasn't tired due to a late nap.  I went to change a load of laundry and quickly glance at my email. (Stupid Computer). Before we knew it, Sawyer had crept downstairs to crawl into bed with Dylan. In his attempt to hurry into Dylan's room, he tripped on something on  the floor of Dylan's room and smacked his head on the side of Dylan's bed. Scott was the first one downstairs and carried Sawyer upstairs to me. I immediately could tell that he needed stitches. I started panicking because I couldn't imagine how a 2 year old could possibly hold still enough for stitches right next to his eye. It was bad. And the worst part is that he had just had surgery the week before and was already traumatized from it.

I thought through my options and decided to call our dermatologist who is also our neighbor and friend. He answered the call and by 11:20 PM Sawyer was all taken care of. 

I am so grateful for people that use their skills to help others. 

It was pretty horrible having to restrain my baby. Scott held his body super tight and I held his face and head. He was fighting us so bad that he now has broken blood vessels all over his face and neck. The cut was SO close to his eye that it ended up needing 5 stitches.

I'm sorry but his face is so sweet.

He looked like he had been in a boxing fight.

And here is a video of him getting his band-aid on and the finishing touches.

His cry makes my heart hurt.

 And I love how he just collapses into Scott when we tell him it is all over.

We took him straight to Wal-Mart and let him pick out a new train.

 This put a smile on his face immediately!

We also took him to McDonald's for a smoothie.

Your parent's love you Soy Boy!!!

All photo's taken with I-phone so not great quality.